Happiness in the pursuit of perfection

I watch a lot of people as they go. I enjoy picking up on other peoples habits, their inconsistencies, their faults. Its what makes us 'human'. It gives me material so I can act the better person myself, instead of the cold machine like socially unacceptable personality I actually have.
Most of the time its unavoidable, for some reason the paranoia that haunted my childhood has flowed into my adult life as a constant awareness of my surroundings. No matter where I go, I'm constantly listening, touching, smelling and looking 360 degrees, absorbing every facet of whats near. It can be quite intimidating sometimes, places with great crowds and excitement I tend to avoid as it becomes somewhat overwhelming for the senses.
Its great when it all works though. The only thing that makes us feel alive is the ability to sense our environment, ask any blind or deaf person. To have all of ones senses constantly in overdrive, its... like one is more than alive, intrinsically assimilated with the surroundings, with inputs flooding in a lunatic calm. Its like you are the only thing that matters. That everyone else is simply going through the motions. That you are the only one truly alive and breathing. That you are freed from this vile coat of skin that is to be human.

I'll argue to anyone that to be alive simply means to be human. Being alive transcends humanity, or any concept that we may have. Being alive is a supreme mathematical state, a chaotic superposition of billions of microstates into one macro: Breathing. Beating. Alive.

Violently Apathetic

Oh thats just nasty, the Jakarta bombings. I wonder if the bombers have any idea what their actions do around the world, especially knowing that so many more people will now frown upon Islam.
I know Christians that are living in regret of things that people from their religion did hundreds of years ago, I can only imagine what your average Muslim must be going through about now.
Also related, this is why Australia must take necessary steps to ensure that people whom try to come into this country via Indonesia actually are refugees. If these people are smart enough to get into the Ritz with all its security, bring in appx 200kg of explosive, they are definitely smart enough to get into this country on dodgy paperwork. If I really was a refugee, and I'd made it to Australia, I would have no problem waiting even 6 months in camps in order to get my perm residence visa. How long would you wait to join this great country of ours?

If we find those responsible for training those smart but weak minds that did these bombings, I'm not in favour of a violent demise for the, Lets just forget about them. As in lets lock them up somewhere, and just forget about them, open the door in a years time and collect their bones kind of forget.

Nice People

One the train today, there was a young lady who was so kind to speak loud enough such that all in the carriage could hear her. One thing she said got me thinking:
"You should stay away from him, there's a reason he has no friends. He's not a good person".

I mean, what is a 'good' person? As I've grown old before my time I've realised some traits that I used to think as good now just piss me off. Traits such as:

'Easy Going': Can quite often be a synonym for 'lazy' or 'doesn't care' or 'runs when the shit hits the fan'.
'He's a real nice guy': he's an absolute pushover, doesn't aggravate anybody with a differing opinion.
'He's so quiet spoken': Too scared to make a change or say what needs to be said.
'He's so laid back': Unemployed.
'Nothing gets to him': Nothing gets to him, not education, not poverty, not the destruction of the environment...

There are enough problems in the world as it is, and as far as I am concerned unless you are part of the solution you are part of the problem. The road to hell is paved with apathy. Those that don't care, or are easy going are not good people.

I have no friends but thats more due to the fact that after 30 the amount of guys that are physically able to spearfish surf and skate drops off quite remarkably... Oh yeah and because I'm an egocentric asshole with a god complex. Hahha

The day in review

Finally, after five full days of near total incapacitation from swine flu, and a couple of false recoveries, I went to work and managed to do a full days coding.
I also managed to pick up some more work coding at another place. Going to be pretty busy for the next few months.

Anyway - the day in review:
Jamie Neal found after 11 days out in the bush: This goes to show how long the human body can survive in the bush if it is prepared, and if it has a calm, rational mind. The Blue Mountains is a beautiful but rough place, so many have died up there. Its a relief to finally hear this guy come out alive, especially after so many of us had given up.

Indian Hacker grounds RAAF site: some Indian kid (presumably) removed the front page of an external facing RAAF site for public information (basically about as hard as taking down my blog and putting a penis picture up instead), put up a page insisting on the cessation of violence against Indian Students,and spelled 'pwned' as 'pawned'. I don't understand this, why hack the RAAF? They're not Lebanese. Maybe its a big hoax.

Honestly, not much is really happening in Sydney right now. Stockmarket is up, I'm over the flu, tomorrows Friday, it doesn't get much better than that. Hence the picture of jesus riding the dinosaur highlighting creationisms arguments against evolution.
Ps anybody else have a problem with the new Ice Age film being called 'dawn of the dinosaurs'? I'm pretty sure that the Mammoth came a long time after the T-Rex....
Have a good day people

Top 10 reasons to get swine flu

Holy crap this bug is bad. Just when you think you are over it, it comes and facepalms you back to the couch.
I started feeling whoozy on saturday afternoon, then was couchridden sat night, immobile on sunday with fever, then sun night took a handful of pills but the combination of fever/chills kept me awake to 4am, monday was a massive headache and more fever, and today just the headache. Hopefully I can get back to work tomorrow.
But like anything, the time at home and mild delerium that I experienced with the fever has its benefits:
10. Having the house to myself for four days means that I've turned walking around in my undies into a way of life, despite the best efforts of my neighbors.
9. My giant fly problem has been sated by the giant spiders which have arrived.
8. My facebook profile now has a black nigerian female bushwarrior as the profile picture, of which for some reason I find absolutely hilarious.
7. My incomprehensible emails that I have been sending to people under the influence of delerium have lost me even more friends.
6. Toasted cheese sandwiches for lunch.
5. I'm caught up on whats been happening with Oprah, which is basically fuck all apart from her pimping out her other franchises from the comfort of her primary franchise.
4. My friends now give me spesh treatment as some kind of sicko thanks to having three bugs over three weeks (two colds and a flu).
3. I've taken three days off the coding job in Delphi (I mean, what was I thinking taking this job up? Delphi? cmoooonnnn...!!)
2. I've had time to comment insightfully on over 150 youtube videos with brash and intellectual commentaries like ' NOO UR A FAG' and 'LOL U SUK I CULD DO SO MUCH BETA BUT UR A LOOSER LOL LOL' etc.
1. I've got a six pack now, having not eaten almost anything for four days I'm really starting to get that 'concentration camp chic' body thing happening.

The Recruiting Industry

OK this is something that bugs me MASSIVELY.
I remember a time where there was no recruiting industry, things were a lot simpler, if you wanted a job you applied to a company directly, spoke to the boss directly, and away you went.
Nowadays, its hard to find a job at all without going through an agency.

The worst thing is, a lot of these jobs simply don't exist, its just the recruitment company trying to build up its 'people on their books' in case they actually find a client with work.

Its particularly frustrating for people to be dragged out of their way to go an attend an interview with an agency, to then be interviewed by an 19 year old high school dropout as to whether they are suitable for the position, and then be told 'sorry that position has been filled by someone else (bullshit - there was no position to start with), would you like us to keep your records in case a similar position comes up?'.

I just had a look at seek.com.au at the java programmer jobs available at the moment, and 90% of the positions on the first page are through agencies, and have the same old tricks:

1. They don't list a wage, either because the job they are advertising doesn't exist, or pays so little that if you saw the rate you wouldn't apply.

2. A lot of them list 'must have high honors degree' which doesn't make sense, and even if I assume they mean Distinction or High Distinction, do they mean at Usyd or at UWS, because a High Distinction at UWS is around the equivalent of a credit average at Usyd.

3. A lot of them are poorly worded, suggesting that they have been typed out by an unqualified 19 year old high school dropout. eg :

"The roles will require highly skilled technologist's who can leverage their skills in delivering high quality systems within agreed timeframes."

Why qualify the term 'technologist'? Why does the 'who' belong to the technologist? Does anyone proof read their shit before they post?

Thankfully for both my current jobs I was able to apply direct to the employer. I wish Uni would teach a small course on the dangers of recruiting agencies and their penchant to be unneeded middlemen. They bring down wages with their 'satisfy the client' remuneration policies, ruin morale by getting people to apply for positions that don't exist and then get rejected, and are nothing but an un-needed leech on the job market that are providing a service that is simply unnecessary.

Worse than used Car Salesmen and Lawyers IMHO.

Back from the dead

Man are there some nasty bugs out there at the moment. I just seem to be getting over a real bad one, spent most of the day with severe headaches, massive fever, basically totally immobile, and I was seeing spiders and shit. All my bones hurt its that nasty. Don't think I'll be goin to work tomorrows.

On a lighter note Triple J played the top 100 songs of all time today, and I have to say I'm pretty proud of the country at the final 10:

1. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
2. Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine
3. Hallelujah, by Jeff Buckley
4. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
5. Paranoid Android by Radiohead
6. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
7. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley
8. Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. Everlong by Foo Fighters
10. Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

There isn't one dud there. Maybe gen Y isn't as fucked as I think they are if thats the final lot. I'm surprised at so much Jeff Buckley in there, I thought nobody listened to him but me....

Melbourne Survey of the Homeless

Why I hate fat people

I was running about a minute late for my train today, and as always when trying to get to the right platform I got stuck behind this fat lady who was busy holding up other people and eating her packet of chips.
Fat people piss me off badly. I'm talking those that are intentionally fat, not the actual1% of the population that actually have a disorder of which they can't avoid. Go to Somalia and see how many people there are fat cause they have a 'glandular condition'.


The reasons why fat people piss me off are:
1. They are inherently lazy. You don't get fat by working out, or looking after yourself, or by worrying about anything, and this reflects in their personality. They will take shortcuts with their work, their friends, and their family, as its too much trouble, as is eating healthy or walking to the shops.

2. The claim that they are 'beautiful on the inside'. Fuckin bullshit. You know who are beautiful on the inside? Those that save lives, be it a 'Medicens Sans Frontiers' doctor, firefighter, police officer, whoever is putting their neck out there for whats left of humanity. And you know what? They are all thin from all the worry, work, and dedication to their cause so strong that they make the effort to eat healthy and look after themselves, so they can prolong their cause.

3. A fat person in Sydney means three starving kids in Somalia. By the laws of Supply and Demand we see that all resources including food are limited. By the fat person consuming twice their requirement (and ironically shitting most of the nutrient out due to excess), this artificially inflates the price (as the resource is limited) and hence helps make food unaffordable in third world countries. Think about it. If the 40% of Australia that was obese stopped eating so much shit, the demand for flour/beef/wheat would drop, the price would lower slightly, and then be more affordable to other countries.

4. They take up two seats on the train.

There was a reason why the fat were reserved a special place in Dante's hell.

Monday in Review

Riot in Xinjian - about 140 people killed. Muslim uprising and peaceful protest turns violent, Chinese troops kill appx 140 people. I know enough about data analysis to know that cause doesn't necessarily imply effect, but why the hell is it that whenever Muslim people protest there are always reports of bombs and shootings and chaos?

Driver run over after throwing cheese balls: The crazy bitch that ran over Eli Westlake did it because Eli threw some cheese balls up in the air, and they hit her car. She was high on "two bottles of wine, marijuana and had ingested four Valium tablets and an ecstasy pill".
Now THATS a night out. I'm a little reluctant to believe that the guy threw away food, judging by his photo it doesn't look like he EVER threw away food. To sum up the story: If you buy cheese balls at 4am and throw them everywhere some crazy bitch will run you over.

Jodi Gordon paid for female strippers in nightclub. I had to read this three times then check if Jodi was actually a chick, but shit yeah. I dunno what to add to that. FnA?

Cigarettes set to rise over $20 per pack: I hope this goes through. I saw some kid on the TV tonight who said he would keep smoking 'out of principle'. So wait, you don't have a job (given by the fact you were sitting on a park bench on a Monday afternoon), and you are using a product that unequivocally increases you risk of all cancers esp lung cancer, a product that will make you tired day in and day out due to your body constantly having to repair itself from the damage it causes, and you say you have principles? Don't make me laugh.

I don't get smokers. You know the product will slowly kill you, so why keep using it? If you want to die, just jump off a bridge somewhere. There are easier and more fun ways to die.

I think its a bit of a delusion the whole cigarette smoking thing. I think most ppl see themselves smoking and think they look uber cool like Michael Madsen in Reservoir dogs, or Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted.
Truth is most people just look sick, diseased and trashy when they smoke. Its an image thing that doesn't work. Just go to any train station and see if you can find a hot girl that smokes.

I Don't get Twitter

I read an article today about Kyle and Jackie-O's (and by the way, she's NO Jackie O, if you know what I mean. The REAL Jackie O actually had class) bit twitter fiasco, and in that some research had concluded that somewhat 90% of the Twitter accounts that had signed up to follow them were generated by a computer. As in a computer was generating random accounts on twitter and signing them up to Kyle and Jackie to make them seem popular.

I don't get twitter. I've yet to see anything come out of twitter thats anything useful. I tried it before I bagged out on it, but honestly anything that can be condensed into 160 characters isn't worth saying, unless its "Help! Fire/Rape/etc". At first I though it was me, and that my life isn't very interesting, but then I noticed other people were posting rabid crap like " Brushing my teeth" and "going to the bookstore" and I was like 1. Who cares? 2. Its highlighting how dull you are 3. Isn't this an invasion of your own privacy?

It seems a bit strange that in this environment where online privacy is such a big thing, that you can sign up to your neighbors twitter account, wait for a update like:
"going to the store!!! Lol!! Going to buy shoes!!! Hubby is out && I've got his credit cd!! Lol!"
and just break into her house and pinch all her shit.

Maybe I'm just paranoid... maybe I'm just an asshole... maybe I hate my neighbors.. I dunno.

Yes twitter seems to be a very one-sided communication in a world full of people where self promotion of their ego, and their own importance seems to be the main use of the internet. You could argue that this blog is nothing more than that, you are probably right, but I'd like to think of it as casting off some of the negativity that consumes me on a daily basis into the world of the public domain so that other people can see it, realise how ugly it can be, and not follow the path I have. But I'm digressing.

Despite all my flaws, my ego isn't big enough, and never will be, for twitter. Besides, none of my 30 year old with-kid mates whom have given up on life as we know it mates want to hear about me pulling of that sick rail grind at the park on a wednesday morning. Oh, the life of a programmer....

Kyle and Jackie O? It wouldn't surprise me that someone generated a 'bot to sign accounts up to them, given their fading popularity and the fact Sydney is realising that they stand for everything we hate about our city.
Kyle and his fat, arrogant, obnoxious no talent ass paying out on those that are obviously better than him (i.e. everybody else) and the vacuous, soul-less but pretty Jackie O.

I could replace you both with a bot.

Freebordin'

Arrrghhh
I spend a lot of time alone. By choice. One reason is that I have a lot of strange hobbies, i.e. I like to write computer code for things for the hell of it, and I like to skate bowls even tho I'm double the age of your typical bowl skater, and I play bass in a band. Shit those aren't really that unusual come to think of it.
But yeah trying to find people that have similar interests is an exercise in futility, especially at this age, so I tend not to bother people with what I do, and just chillax with myself.

Besides, this typically what I get when I do try:
"Wanna come freebordin? The ski trip is up soon. It'd be good to get conditioned up"
"Nah, last time I went freebordin I fell over and got a bruise"
"Shit you are gonna get a lot more bruises when we go snowboarding. You really should buy some impact shorts or somethin"
"Nah I don't like the look of them people might think I'm a pansy"

To most people, this is just normal human behaviour, but since I program computers and deal with the rigid logic of machines, I find this shit so irrational and illogical that it does my head in.

So I skate by myself.

Freebordin is fuckin sick by the way:
www.freebord.com

Media Is Messed Up

I just took one look at the google news webpage. Nothing against google but:
"Bureaucracy to blame for indigenous gap" yeah whatever. Some hack has obviously seen a documentary about indigenous Australians and decided to write a paper on it. I didn't even have to click on the article.
Get out into central west NSW and have a look for yourself and then see if you can blame something, one thing. I blame: the parents, alcohol, sunlight, the boogie, glue, petrol shit you could blame that on anything. I blame it on people that feel the need to shoehorn blame onto the issue without actually trying to do anything constructive about it. Its a national issue, and most of the hard work needs to come from the aboriginal people. Shit I was born into poverty too. Don't blame the color of your skin. Get over your land rights cause you've got about as much chance of that as I have of getting land back from the germans in WW2.

"Turnbull beyond economic repair" This is based on ONE OPINION POLL of which had significantly different results to all the other polls. Everybody in this country should do a course on basic statistics. The fact that this opinion poll was so far outside the usual data makes it a prime candidate for the sample within to be of a different sample strata to the previous. I can't believe this is still in the news. Skip.

"Talk of drug use surrounds Jacksons death" No shit sherlock. I remember the guy having problems with painkillers around the FIRST time he was accused of kiddie fiddling.
You journalists have it too easy. Instead of reporting news, you just find some trivial bullshit and sensationalise the crap out of it so that people buy into it and propel your ratings.

The days of honest journos are long gone. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. I couldn't sleep at night if I had this little pride in my work.

Insomnia and Values

Shit I haven't slept properly for three days. Insomnia is a bitch. I'm at that point of sleep deprivation where I'm not sure if I'm alive or dead anymore, my whole being is emotionless.
Hopefully sleep tonight.
One thing that has been keeping me awake is a certain social situation, based around infidelity, and what is seemingly attributed to the person in question having a lack of moral values.

Growing up I didn't have much, but I never realised at the time that the way my family lived was not normal. The town I grew up in lost a lot of industry in the first five years of my live, forcing my father to take unskilled cash jobs doing whatever he could, especially hard after mum left. Some nights there wasn't food on the table, I was always thin and had to make my own toys, but I still had a ball.

Dad always bought me books, no matter how broke he was he made every effort to keep me educated. He taught me three values which I still hold today:
Pride: In what you have, in your work, and in who you are.
Honour: for your peers, for those whom have worked hard and achieved, and for those whom died for your cause.
Respect: For your fellow man, as we are all brothers. As Hemmingway said:
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

If this certain chap who by his moral conflict is disturbing my sleep, were to inherit even one of these three traits, then maybe he would not ask himself why his life is not what he expected. One can blame luck on famine or fortune, but the odds are stacked in your favour if you adhere to the above.

Trading

Nothing happened today. Some faggot biker noname got locked up, thats about it.
But on a brighter note exam results are out and I emerged unscathed again... thankfully. I can concentrate back on work and other pursuits.
Nobody reads this shit so I'll just put what the fuck I want on here, and today I'm going to talk about trading stocks.
The ASX trading game is about to start again. and as now is such an interesting time for the stockmarket I urge both people that read this blog to jump in and have a go at it, as its a great way to learn about how the stockmarket works and how to make passive income so that you don't have to work your ass off or pray for the right lotto ticket your whole life.

Heres the link for the rundown on how to trade stocks:
http://www.asx.com.au/resources/education/classes/shares/index.htm

If you tl;dr it then basically buy low, sell high, follow the trends.