I don't know whats its like for the normal person, to have this wide scope of feelings, but its something thats caused me to be an outsider most of my life.
I remember when Grandad died when I was 5 and I was just mildly confused at what all the fuss was about. I kinda knew the guy was pretty old so I figured it was only natural.
I got sent to a psychiatrist at 8 whom diagnosed me as depressed. Isn't everybody depressed?
It was hard to make friends at school, the kids seem to want you to be empathetic towards them which I couldn't do. I got beaten up every day for a year by this kid who loved WWF wrestling and used me as an involuntary wrestling partner. I let it go as I figured he wasn't doing much harm. One day he hit my head on a desk and I flipped out and strangled him until he passed out. Kinda got in trouble for that.
Its been hard, especially trying to keep in control of that old rage thing. Even now I still have problems sometimes trying to keep it in check, however from the outside I just seem like any other kind good natured individual. I've got my poker face down to a T. I just hope like shit that nobody will ever push me too far.
The hardest thing though, is being able to feign all these other emotions in order to be able to function as a person. Its expected of us in order to be accepted into social groups to be able to listen, smile, and otherwise react appropriately to a given emotional input.
Anything else would mark us as an outsider to the tribe, an anomaly, an intruder.
Doing this all day every day sure as hell wears me out. Small wonder I long for time by myself.